We are here to solve problems not make problems.

posted in Divorce

on Tuesday, July 31, 2012.

As most in Connecticut already know, married couples are not always happy. With a divorce rate hovering near 50 percent, many couples decide to go their separate ways. Even though this has become the norm, divorced individuals are often looked down upon by those that have not seen a marriage dissolve. By ostracizing divorced people, many married individuals are losing an incredible source of insight and advice that could lead to the success of their own marriages.

Some would argue that the relationship between spouses is the most important one in an individual’s life. Because of this, many divorced people spend time considering what went wrong, what could have been done better to save the marriage, regardless of whether they wanted the marriage to be saved.

Though this can result in a rendition of the blame game, many people realize that both spouses made mistakes that, if addressed, would have allowed the couple to remain happily married for more time. These mistakes should be learned from by currently married couples and the divorced individuals that made them so that a relationship can be successful in the future.

Research found that many divorced people share the same top five things they wish they had done during the marriage. These include boosting a spouse’s mood, getting over the past, blaming the relationship, revealing more about oneself and talking more about money.

Boosting a spouse’s mood includes doing something for a spouse that reminds her or him that she or he is being thought and cared about. Couples should do their best to eliminate jealousy about things that do not matter anymore, such as former relationships. Blaming the relationship may sound a little odd but it is better to blame the level of communication than each spouse individually. This way, the spouses can work together to correct any issues rather than against one another.

By unveiling something unknown, a partner will become more trusting and, possibly, more trustworthy. Lastly, every couple should talk about money. It is unavoidable if the couple wants to interact with established society.

Source: Wall Street Journal, “Divorc√©’s Guide to Marriage,” Elizabeth Bernstein, July 24, 2012

Tags: divorce, high-asset divorce

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