Going through a divorce can be a stressful process for some. It is recommended by many professionals that you hire a Stamford, Connecticut mediation attorney to help you with that process. Having your mediation attorney by your side can help alleviate some of the stress you may have. While going through a divorce, your mediation lawyers will likely suggest that you and your spouse meet with a mediator to help work through and resolve some of the issues you two may be facing during your divorce. The mediator works as a neutral third party who will hear the issues that you and your spouse are not agreeing on. The mediator will not make any decisions in your issues, but rather help you and your spouse come to an agreement instead. During a mediation session you can choose to have your Connecticut mediation lawyers present, or meet with your spouse and mediator alone.
Your Stamford, Connecticut mediation attorney will highly recommend that you and your spouse first attend mediation sessions before taking your divorce to court. Mediation has worked for many couples that were not able to resolve their issues before they went. Mediation has many benefits, such as:
While mediation is an extremely helpful process, it will not work for every couple that is getting divorced. If you have experienced any domestic violence during your marriage, you may want to discuss that with your Connecticut mediation attorney before agreeing to go to mediation with your spouse. You may want to leave the decision making to a judge in this case. In some cases, the abused spouse may feel intimidated or pressured into making a decision they do not want to make. It is easy to fall back into old dynamics. Or, going to mediation and being allowed to have your say in the final decisions may leave you with a sense of empowerment. Even if you and your spouse do go to court for your divorce, you may still end up using a mediator at some point in the process. A successful mediation requires very little. The biggest requirements are you, your spouse, and both of you willing to negotiate or be willing to compromise with each other. Mediation is a process, so do not give up when you hit the first road block. You and your spouse will not see eye-to-eye on every issue, but the mediator is there to help facilitate that. The process of mediation is a powerful one and couples will often see a resolution that they are both content with. While coming to an agreement on some issues may seem impossible, just hang in there, the mediator is a professional who will work diligently with you and your spouse to achieve a resolution in your issues.
While every mediator is a little different in their approach to an issue, many work along the same guidelines. The mediation process begins with a phone call. During this phone call you may either speak with the mediator or their assistant. You will provide the background information that they request which will include information about your family, your marriage, and what issues need to be resolved with your spouse. Most of the time, you will only be providing basic information during this phone call. You will provide more detailed information during the first meeting you have with the mediator. The next step in the process is to attend your first meeting with the mediator. This meeting will be held in an office or a comfortable conference room. Here, you will first meet the mediator in person who will go over the process of mediation with you. The mediator will explain that the meetings typically will involve you, your spouse, and legal representation if either of you choose to have them present. The mediator may also mention that they will meet with you in private to discuss certain issues and your views on them. The mediator will also have you sign a confidentiality agreement so that you will keep the proceedings out of public knowledge, as will your spouse and mediator.
Once you meet with your mediator and gain an understanding of the process, you will next be asked to give a brief statement regarding your divorce and issues. Your spouse will be asked to do the same. The mediator will listen to both sides and then ask any questions that they may have about the issues. The mediator will then repeat back the statements that you and your spouse made so that everyone is on the same page. After going over your statements, the next step is to find out on what issues you and your spouse agree and on what issues you differ. By doing this, everyone will know what issues need to be resolved between the two of you. The mediator will then set a plan on how the resolution of these issues will be accomplished. You and your spouse will be aware of this plan. Before going into meditation, you need to be armed with knowledge. If you plan on creating an issue about your marital home, you should know how much it is worth, how much you bought it for, and any other relevant points. Knowing the information in order to resolve your issues will allow you and your spouse to have an informed and thoughtful discussion about it. Your mediator will let you know what information you will need based on the issues that need to be resolved. You may be required to bring whatever your mediator requests to the next session.
When both spouses are there to work together to come to an agreement, the mediator will start with the small issues at hand. You will start answering easier questions first and that will help you and your spouse build a dialogue. Building a dialogue usually builds trust, which will help the two of you when it comes to settling those tougher issues. For a successful mediation, both you and your spouse will have to compromise on some things. Many times one of you will have to agree to let something go in order to gain something else. By negotiating this way, it may be easier for you or your spouse to let something go when you are getting something in return. Mediation is not a process that goes directly from the starting line to the finish line. Instead, you may find that the proceedings get sidetracked over a bit of information or an issue that is difficult to resolve. The mediator is there to help you and your spouse stay on the right track. When issues become difficult and negotiations have stalled, the mediator may suggest that the two of you brainstorm new solutions. They will also allow you to express how you are feeling, what your opinions are, and what is important to you. The mediator will encourage both parties to listen to the other and communicate better so that a resolution may be reached in the issue at hand. The most important things to remember during mediation is to really listen to what your spouse is communicating and be open to compromising with them. While you may not agree with what your spouse has to say, it is still important to listen and understand where they are coming from. Ask your spouse to do the same for you. If you both have an understanding of where the other is coming from, then it may be easier to negotiate and resolve the issue. Being open to compromise on an issue with your spouse is another important step to a successful mediation. Being open to compromise does not mean that you give your position and do not bend on it. Instead, you will be able to suggest an idea and see what your spouse thinks about it. Your spouse may have some valid ideas as well. It is important that you both discuss the ideas and come to a compromise that satisfies both of you.
After you and your spouse have successfully negotiated through your issues, an agreement will be written up for you both either by your attorney or mediator. This agreement will list all the issues and the agreements you have reached. If the issues involved minor children, then it will also include a parenting schedule as well as a parenting plan that you two have agreed on. This written agreement will be attached to your official divorce papers and become a part of the official divorce judgement. This means that if you or your spouse does not follow through with an agreement that was made during mediation, then the court will be allowed to enforce that agreement. In most cases, the spouses do follow through with the agreements that they made during mediation because they were comfortable that the decisions that were made during the process.
Your divorce attorney will be the one to help you find a mediator to resolve your issues. A divorce attorney will make sure that you are given a recommendation for a divorce mediator, rather than one that handles business disputes or general issues. It is important that your divorce is handled by a divorce mediator who has experience with divorces or family law. It is your choice to have your attorney present during the mediation process. This is a decision that you will need to make with your attorney, mediator, and spouse. Often times the divorce attorney does not attend the mediation sessions. It is typically just you, your spouse, and the mediator. Not having your attorney present will allow you and your spouse to work through the issues you have, as well as keep some costs lower. However, if you are nervous about the first meeting then it is recommended you bring your divorce attorney with you until you are comfortable. In the case of particularly difficult issues, or a difficult spouse who will not negotiate, then you also may want to consider having your mediation attorney by your side. If you are having a difficult time expressing what your position is on the issue, or having your position heard, your mediation attorney should be present to help you get the best compromise out of the issues at hand. Schedule a consultation with your mediation attorney to help you get started mediating the issues in your divorce. The sooner the issues are resolved, the sooner your divorce will be finalized with the court.
Your Stamford, Connecticut mediation lawyers are experienced in both divorce and mediation. Call (203) 348-2465 for a consultation with your Connecticut mediation attorney today at the Law Offices of Piazza, Simmons & Grant – Family Law. We have the mediation lawyers who will help you come to a resolution in your divorce. The Law Offices of Piazza, Simmons & Grant – Family Law are experienced in handling divorce cases and will be able to give you a thorough and informative consultation.